Family Tree

Most surnames are based on the careers or achievements of your ancestors. I get Baker, Miller, or Cook, but what if your last name is Pfister?

Kylie Jenner

Kylie Jenner was on the cover of Forbes magazine for being worth $800 million. They called her a self-made woman, which I find that hard to believe. But then I forget, her father Kaitlyn is one too.

Athleisure

When a woman wears athleisure she looks really hot
When A guy wears workout clothes, He looks like a leotard.

Allergies and honey

Someone told me the cure for my allergies was to go out and eat some local honey. It worked, but she gave me gonorrhea.

Open Floor Plan

Open office floor plans are like being trapped in a parked car while someone chews gum with their mouth open.

Stay Woke

I was at this year’s Women’s March, and I haven’t seen white girls this woke since they discovered Avocado Toast.

AARP

AARP just came out with it’s list of hot dead celebrities. It’s called 60 under 6′.