Hand Dryers

God love the inventor who finally came up with a hand dryer that actually works. I’m not talking about those lame Dyson Airblades that still take five or six passes. I mean the XLERATOR De-lux. It’s like they stuck a Pratt Whitney jet engine inside the metal case.

They’re so powerful, I don’t know how they stay mounted to the walls. You can literally see the contour of the bones in your hand when you stick them under the blower. My hands go numb as all the blood is forced back up my arms, then my watch and wedding ring falls off.